I got up this morning after having a dream that I canceled swimming. I was disoriented, but I couldn’t see any reason not to go swimming, so I went.

I got to the pool in the 6 o’clock hour, and the Y swim team was practicing in most of the lanes. I found myself grateful that there was a space right down the middle of the double lane for me. I’m sure we would have swum circles if this space hadn’t been there–and circles are almost a dealbreaker for me.

On my first 25 free, I almost got through the whole shallow end underwater on my push off. That exhasuted me, and I stood panting at the wall at the end of my first 50. Before I’d caught all my breath–isn’t that impossible in swimming? I swam another 50 free, relieved that I didn’t have to break up my first 100 free like I did last week.

My IM time today, 2:58.16, was 10 seconds slower than last time. I will be glad to see my numbers get more consistent, and then decrease.

I know my kids are getting sick of me obsessing over swimming, but I can’t help but try to work out swimming problems out loud. I complained to my daughte that freestyle felt like running while holding your breath. I was still feeling like such the failure for struggling with freestyle. Then she told me that it never gets easier, and that, yes, freestyle is like running while holding your breath, and that swimming is just hard. . .

I mused today that breast stroke is more like walking. Although you can break into a jog if you’re fast.

I’ll count myself lucky if I get in the pool on Saturday. Otherwise, I’m done until next week.