Yesterday I was equal parts looking forward to and dreading my workout. I still love swimming, but I was feeling tired and out of shape before I even reached the pool. Then I started missing the baby, and, . . .what was I saying?

The 1st 100: So I tried to do my own workout for moms over 40, like I talked about here. Right off the bat, I got tired. I set out to swim a 100 free, but did a 50 and flipped over unto my back. I felt more comfortable on my back and stayed there a minute.

The 2nd 100: I broke this down into 25s, alternating free and back.

The 3rd 100: I attempted to do 100 breast, but was so exhausted after the first 50 that I finished up this set with 50 elementary back.

The 4th 100: By now, I was feeling good to get 300 under my belt and was ready to swim the 100 IM. I was even going to time it. I pressed something on my watch and pushed off the wall into a freestyle streamline. Wait a minute, I thought! This is an IM; I’m supposed to be doing the butterfly. I walked back to the wall. My watch was adding time to the last thing I’d timed. I reset it, pushed the button, and started the IM properly. Just before I started the third stroke, breaststroke, I noticed another person in my lane. Not that they politely tapped my shoulder and informed me they would be joining me. No, they were just swimming. I hesitated, wondering if we were swimming circles or sides, and then moved over and swam that length. I was just gearing up for the freestyle length when I saw another person in the lane! I hugged the wall and finished out my IM at 3:04.20.

The 5th 100: Disappointed that I’d added nearly 2 seconds to my last IM time, I started my cool down 100. I swam 100 elementary back stroke, more or less, hugging the wall and scared I’d hit someone with my flailing elementary back arms and legs.

The 6th 100: I really wanted to quit at this point. Sharing a lane zapped my confidence to work on the IM again. I swam 2 5 free and 75 back.

The 7th 100: I was torn between quitting after this length and continuing on to 800; I try to pick up 100 every time I swim, and I’d swum 700 last time. I did 50 breast in pretty raggedy form and finished up the set with backstroke kick.

The 8th 100: I felt restored after the back kick and decided to finish strong. I swam alternating freestyle and back stroke. I noticed that I only shared the lane with one other person, and she was swimming freestyle at a steady pace.

I couldn’t believe I’d made it through 800 with so little elementary back stroke. It turned out to be a good thing that I had to share the lane; that forced me to swim more freestlye and less elementary back, the filler stroke. At this point I’m only swimming once every two weeks or so. You gotta start somewhere.